Playing is an essential part of a child’s growing up and in order to play children have to get together. It is not always possible to have a like minded lot or a homogeneous crowd that makes playing a pleasure. If it is in a school the children are monitored but this is not always possible. Most disputes in playgrounds one sees are in neighbourhoods and even clubs. One can reduce disputes in the playground but to eradicate them totally is like asking for the moon. What the child seeks in a playground is justice and each child has its own definition of justice which makes it impossible for them to see eye to eye resulting in disputes that sometimes could get to blows and other physical injuries.
Causes of Child Disputes
There is an inbuilt desire to always get the best deal for oneself and the child is no exception which tempts the child to get benefits that actually do not belong to it and in order to achieve this it will adopt measures that are not fair. When this happens there are bound to be fights. One will find groups formed that take sides which make the playground a battle ground and what started the dispute is forgotten and the whole issue takes an ugly turn prompting elders to step in. But the grudge continues even after the game is over and is carried further for days on end.
One will always find a bully who manages to get the best part of the deal using foul means and being a bully no one will object to its method of approach to get what it wants. This scenario one witnesses wherever a group of children get together. But the love for playing games is so strong that children put up with this and suffer in silence. They would be vary of reporting the bully to the elders scared of the likely consequences.
Disputes among children in the playground have gone on from time immemorial and will continue till the end of time. Whereas in schools something could be done to control this but elsewhere the only recourse left to the parents is to pull out the child from that group where one notices disputes and fights on a regular basis. The parents could, without involving the children learn for themselves what triggers these fights and deal with them accordingly.
Many a time it is the items used to play the game that starts a dispute. Each child should bring with it its own equipment and keep it under lock and key when not in use.
What To Do
Many children are bad losers and this is another area where counselling helps. Children should learn to accept defeat with a smile which does not come naturally to many children which needs to be acquired. It is only by giving them proper directions that they could learn that winning is not everything but playing is. The elders have to be careful in being impartial when judging the winners and if a child notices that there has been manipulation this could lead to children becoming disgruntled and would even withdraw from playing further games a situation that could be the cause of depression and once there it would be difficult for the child to get out of it.
The elders should appreciate every player that is on the field giving every child the feeling that it has contributed to the game. There are good players and bad players. There are experts and those that do not know the ‘abc’ of the game. Those that need training should be isolated and they should have more practice sessions so that they come up to the standard that is required to play any game. Parents should schedule a child's day in such a way that it has time to devote to playing which is so necessary for a child's physical as well as emotional need. Playing teaches a child to face defeat, to increase its stamina, and be able to get along also with those that do not quite match its temperament. This helps the child in dealing with situations in its life outside of the playground.
Some children lose their temper at the batting of an eyelid. Such children need counselling as they are spoil sports. They could be having some health problems which need to attended to. A happy child is the one who has a happy home. It is the duty of every parent to see that there is a congenial atmosphere around the house which helps the child face whatever tensions it might have to face specially while playing competitive games. While playing is no doubt a healthy pass time but playing under tension will undo what it is meant to do.
Image Credit: Aislinn Ritchie's photostream
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